Rebel Without a Clue...

As a 44-year old woman, I don't like being told, "No." My loving husband has a tendency to spout out that word often which generally invokes the following response from me: "You're not the boss of me!" I know, very mature...

My whole life, though, I've dodged situations where people could tell me no. So, at a very young age, I learned to stop asking permission to do things. Granted, that doesn't always work for say a four-year old. In kindergarten, I discovered one of my new classmates lived on the same street from me. Pleasant Street was a pretty long street and she lived about five blocks "down" the street. One day I decided to visit Jeannie and left our big yard and started my journey.
I made it to Jeannie's house and she was outside in her own yard playing. Jeannie and I had the best time playing tag and Chinese jump rope (remember the chant, "In, Out, Side to Side, Back, In, Out!).

About three hours later I walked home as it was almost dark. I didn't expect that there would be a police car in my driveway. I didn't expect my father to rush to me and bear hug me at the same time he swatted my bottom with a fake spanking. I certainly didn't expect my mother to burst out into hysterical tears. I had no idea what the big deal was or what was going on!
Being a December baby, I was about three months shy of my fifth birthday. I was certainly no baby! When my parents asked me where I had been, I told them in a very matter-of-fact tone that I was "down" the street at Jeannie's house. Now that I was home and safe, the battle of the wills began.

"Who gave you permission to leave this yard?" my mother said through her gritting teeth.

"Who said I had to stay in the yard?" I inquired since no one had really said that rule out loud that we were never allowed to leave the yard without explicit permission from one parent or the other.

"You are a four-year old baby! You are not allowed to leave this yard without your father or me," she exclaimed. I don't remember the exact words that she used but the sentence probably started with a "Jesus, Mary and Joseph and all the Saints in Heaven." My mother was always invoking the Trio and the Saints.

The police officer that was dispatched to our house was watching this exchange between my mother and me. He seemed very entertained by the whole conversation. My father, by this time, had calmed down and asked me why I didn't ask them if I could go over to Jeannie's house.

I looked up at him with an innocent look and big, wide eyes and said, "Because you would have said no."

My father's eyes betrayed all of his emotions. If he was mad, they would just about pop out of his head! If he was amused, the became all soft and smiley. If he was hurt they became cloudy and moist. I could tell he wanted to laugh and his eyes got all twinkly. Meanwhile, my mother's shoulders were drilling into her ears and her body was stiffer than a corpse. She was waiting for my father to discipline his little girl. Her expectations were that he would take her side and that I would have a fitting punishment.

My dad mumbled, "Don't do that again unless we tell you it is OK." And that was it. Dad released Bud the cop thanking him for coming out to the house. Bud smiled and winked at me. And that sealed the deal for me. This was the turning point in my young life...my life's philosophy found! A philosophy that I still live by 40-years later!

It is better to ask for forgiveness later than permission first. No one is the boss of me...except me! If I miss out on something, I have no one to blame except myself for not making it happen.